I don’t treat my kids the same. I used to think I did, but I don’t…
I love both my kids tremendously for their individual selves and the place in my heart for each of them is the same size. At times though, I do feel like I love one more than the other, but I know that it has to do with how well we are getting on or connecting at the time.
All of that aside, I do treat my children differently! Although, when I realised this I had an overwhelming sense of guilt! How could I! I should be treating them the same! Then it dawned on me a day later that, in fact, it was impossible to treat them the same.
My elder daughter can read and write and create the most wonderful pieces of art. She has an excellent memory and is highly sensitive. The stories she makes up are so good I should publish them!
My younger daughter is just starting to do things for herself, like getting dressed and brushing her own teeth. She is a social butterfly who loves karate and animals. To watch her role play with her toys is a treat!
So I go back and think of my girls who are 4 years apart and suddenly I am not so surprised that I don’t treat them the same.
Now I feel kind of silly thinking about the unrealistic expectation I placed on myself and the unnecessary guilt I felt at not being able to achieve it! There is a lot of pressure on parents and some of that we do put on ourselves.
I think it’s good to step back and re-assess every now and then to see if you are being unreasonable to yourself.