The Inappropriate Christmas Gift

My Mum LOVES frogs. If you don’t know what to get her for her birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas, get her a frog. She has frogs in every single room of her house. She has frogs outside the house, in her car and at her desk at work. As I say, she really loves frogs!

We are all the same. As soon as we see a frog that she doesn’t have, we snap it up immediately because you know there is always an occasion to give it to her.

This year my Mum, sister and I were all shopping together getting the last of our Christmas gifts. We were browsing in a shop together and my sister saw a tin with a frog on it! She snatched it up, as is customary, and quickly paid for it without my Mum noticing. Awesome!

Christmas day comes around. Our family play Bingo on the day. Whoever gets a line on their Bingo card pulls a name out of the hat and that person gets a present. It spreads out the gifts fairly and keeps us entertained for a good part of the day. So this Christmas, like any other, my Mum got more frogs for her collection to love and cherish. She got a huge frog for the garden, a metal frog to go on the wall, 2 frog charms for her bracelet, a frog bookmark, a frog picture – I think you get the idea!

So my Mum’s name was called again and she opened up her gift, the gift my sister had found when we were all shopping. She sees the frog on it and loves it instantly! But the tin is in Afrikaans, and my Mum being British has no idea what it says. “What is inside?” she asks. “Probably mints.” My sister replies. So my Mum opens the tin. “These are large mints!” she says. I am next to her and I begin to shriek with laughter “They’re condoms!” I shout. My Mum holds one up and the whole room bursts into laughter! My sister turns scarlet, the poor dear, and explains how she came to buy them.

My Mum loves her gift even more and says “I can’t wait to show the girls at work!” Most of the girls on her team are Afrikaans and will get the joke much quicker than we all did!

“Well” my sister starts “you know you’re an adult when you can be friends with your Mum and you can buy her condoms!” Thank you sis for a very memorable Christmas!



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