Have you ever noticed something about somebody that is not cool and you find yourself juggling with the idea of telling that person or keeping quiet?
Like bad breath, body odour or food in your teeth? Toilet roll hanging from your shoe or your skirt tucked into your knickers? I would say ‘Yes’ to telling the person on all of the above. Obviously being sensitive to the more sensitive subjects.
I once told a guy I worked with – a nice looking married man – that he would have terrible body odour when he came back to the office after driving around attending meetings. He was completely unaware of his B.O. and people would talk behind his back. He thanked me and the next day he started keeping deodorant in his drawer and it never happened again.
So this morning I was thinking about a guy I know who has started wearing glasses again after wearing contacts for a long time. Initially it was a temporary thing, but I think the contacts are giving him too much trouble and he prefers the pain free vision of his specs. My issue is that the specs are outdated and don’t really suit him and I was wondering this morning whether to say something to him about it.
I had the conversation in my head. Pretty much the same conversation I have every time I have this dilemma. After I had played it out in my head, I realised that I had switched onto auto-pilot and had not really been paying attention to my thought process. I skimmed through it again. The conclusion I had come to was to tell the guy, because if it was me, I would want someone to tell me!
Back up a bit! No I wouldn’t! If someone came up to me and told me that my glasses sucked and were old and outdated I would need to fight the urge to punch them in the face, even if they were 100% correct!
I quickly got off my high horse and decided there was no way in hell that I was going to tell him. Maybe he loves his specs or his style is different to mine. Sometimes it is best to decide when you are going to genuinely help somebody or hurt their feelings instead, and how necessary is it to actually tell them!
My lips are sealed!